is your's on?

crazy ed, peonies, lego ship building, artwork on display, and a cheater kiss

I didn't take this picture, but it was too good not to include!

stand still, look pretty

I want to paint my face
and pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even wanna look at myself

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over

I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
And you might think its easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking
in the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't
even believe this is my life

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go an shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
And you might think its easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
And you might think its easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

my favorite pillow

my baby turned 10, dates, and crafting

 1. the handsome men in my life

2. still in love!

3. creu checking out the activity downstairs

4. my handsome lemo on our date

5. my handsome edmo on our date

6. my favorite page from my christmas 2012 album that I made on sunday

50 things you may or may not know about me . . .

I'm taking a cue from my blogging cousin at mornin' sunshine and posting these "50 things you may or may not know about me".  I'm pretty transparent with y'all, so most of these will probably fall into the things you already know about me.

1. I am a very organized and some may say OCD person.
2. I am a big planner, I plan my outfits out for the whole month.
3. when I send clothes to the dry cleaner, I always send exactly 10 items.
4. my favorite weekends are the ones where I never leave the house.
5. I love to sleep when it's raining.
6. I wanted to be a ballerina when I was little.
7. I studied criminal psychology in college.
8. I love crime shows (criminal minds and law and order: special victims unit) and natural disaster movies (contagion).
9. my sons and husband are the best part of me.
10. I love being a mom but I get overwhelmed easily.
11. I can have tremendous "mommy guilt" sometimes.
12. I married my high school best friend's little brother.
13. almost 20 years later, we are still best friends.
14. my first kiss with my husband was at the altar.
15. mike and I never took a honeymoon.
16. I love living in waco and after almost 13 years here, it feels like home.
17. I am very hard on myself and my worst critic.
18. I have an irrational fear of escalators and only take them if I have to and I have to let the boys go behind me.
19. I have an irrational fear of movie theaters and very rarely go to them, but I LOVE movie theater popcorn.
20. lime green is my favorite color, but I like most any shade of green.
21. I am so girly and I always wanted a daughter, but hopefully I will have daughters-in-law and grand-daughters one day and I won't trade my boys for anything.
22. even though it is SO hot in texas, summer is my favorite time of the year.
23. I don't enjoy any sports (I tolerate baseball).
24. I love to watch bull riding.
25. I have an awful black thumb, I really wish I could grow a garden.
26. I have a potty mouth . . . but I really try to watch it around the kids.
27. I took latin for all 4 years of high school and I was latin club president for 3 years.
28. I went to UIL state in original oration in high school.
29. I LOVE driving trucks, when I was a kid, I wanted one that was so high you had to have a ladder to get into it.
30. even through I am my father's daughter, I never acquired a taste for beer (or coffee).
31. my father refuses to join facebook, so my sister and I made a facebook fan page for him where we share his wisdom.
32. I LOVE to shop and I am a sucker for cosmetics and anything kitchen related.
33. my nail polish collection is infamous in waco.
34. I have more cookbooks than I can even count and I read them like novels.
35. I love to cook and bake, the best thing I've mastered is challah.
36. my dream is to one day write a cookbook.
37. my boys, husband, and I are "the big bang theory" fanatics, we've seen every episode at least twice.
38. I believe that all the challenges that I've faced have made me into the person I am and I'm very proud of who I've become (I'm not the same person I was 20 years ago).
39. in high school I worked part-time at tanning salons.
40. I have a common name with an uncommon spelling, so my kids have very normal names, lee and ed, they won't have to spell their names to anyone.
41. my name (even with it's uncommon spelling), is more common than my sister's.
42. I love fried food, but I am scared to fry, so mike is my fry daddy.
43. I am not a good housekeeper.  I have a pillow and a sign that says "this house was cleaned yesterday, sorry you missed it"
44. I have always been a PC user, but I bought a mac book this summer and I love it.
45. this weekend, another caryn brown died and her husband was also named michael, kind of freaked me out!
46. I cook breakfast for my husband's office the last saturday of tax season and I have been doing that for the past 10 years (I've only missed 2 years).
47. my favorite part of christmas is cooking 25 different kinds of candies and cookies and sharing them with all our friends.
48. my parents have an open house every christmas day at their house for all their neighbors and family.  it is another thing that I look forward to about christmas.
49. I hate halloween.
50. my favorite quote is "put on your big girl panties and deal with it".  I have it hanging in my bedroom.

sunday six -- halloween, crafting, and good food

1. my scream egg, they really do exist!

2. my favorite pillow on my bed

3. our delicious smashburger lunch on friday

4. my halloween tags are up

5. amanda getting her craft on

6. angela with her finished wreath

ed and pa building with legos

sunday six -- family, celebrating, baking, and crafting

I haven't done these in a while, but I'm gonna try again:

1. my family counting their monopoly money on their iPhones 



2. met erin verbeck and got her book and got it signed



3. celebrated marybeth's birthday



4. got some much needed rain



5. made berry crack pie



6. updated my chicken wire sign for halloween

world suicide prevention day

today is world suicide prevention day, those of you who know me, know that this is something very close to my heart.  I really can't think of anything else that I want to share right now, but I wanted to share some song lyrics from nickel and dime that I think perfectly puts into words my struggle with depression.  and just in case you need to hear it today, you are worth it and life is worth living!

There are Days

Nickel and Dime

8 through 9

Copyright 1997 Lollipop Gang Publishing

There are days when my heart is heavy and I can't go on

and there are times when it feels like the world is caving in

and pain is something that I know too well

the hurts of the world seem to be part of the ride

chorus:

I wanna know your life when times are hard and heavy Lord

I wanna know you're there when I'm all alone

I wanna look in your eyes and see the passion of home

when home seems to be just a figment of my imagination

there are days when I can't put a finger on how I'm feelin'

and there are times I wanna crawl in a hole and refuse this day

but this is not what you have called me to

so teach me Lord to live this life just like you